Month: April 2014

Death on Social Media

No, no… I didn’t actually mean “death *to* social media.” Although there are times when I would fully support that.

What I mean is, what about announcing a death in the family on That Certain Social Media Site?  My father passed away on Saturday, and I just couldn’t bring myself to put it in a status update. I don’t tend to put deep feelings out there on That Certain Social Media Site, you know? This particular venue, in my opinion, lends itself more to Wow! and Yay! and Can You Believe This One? than it does to the darker moments of the soul.

I do see that I may well be alone in feeling this way. In a sad coincidence, my friend’s father passed away on the same day mine did. And all of us have known for the past three years just about everything there was to know about the battle with cancer, and the treatments, and the waiting for results, and the final deathbed vigil, all on social media. I suppose getting everyone’s instant reactions and condolences was comforting to her. Also, it’s probably an easier way to let lots of people know instead of going through a list, phone call by phone call.

Well, I couldn’t do it. I guess I prefer the more gradual trickling-in of private messages, and emails, and handwritten condolence cards (my favorite) through the actual mail.

I’m not saying that either of us is right or wrong on this. It’s just interesting to me to have such a clear illustration of how differently people can feel about what they want to put out there on this particular site.

My dad’s memorial service, which is a public event, I somehow feel all right about posting. Partly this is because I can’t remember who asked me about services and who didn’t. Also, life’s larger events seem to require a lot of time on the phone, and I’m fairly well talked out and ready for a little more quiet. Although even now that I’m typing this out, I am dreading fielding all the comments that I know will show up if I choose to post this. So maybe not.

Aargh, I don’t know. I’m tired and I’m sad. And it’s kind of weird that I’m putting this in an anonymous blog entry but not on social media where people actually know me.

Well, so I’m weird. I like to do my grieving while I’m hiding.

Love you & leave you,

Hobbie DeHoy


Stick ’em up

Hello, my name is Hobbie. I am a mom and I do not own a glue gun.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, we *have* a glue gun in our house. Somewhere. But I wouldn’t know how to use it, even if I could find it. And finding it is probably not happening anytime soon. By anyone in our house.

Want to know who bought the glue gun, and who uses it at our house? It’s my husband. Yes, my charming, clever, IT geek of a husband is sporting the Martha Stewart persona in our house.

Not me, honey. Never, ever, me.

One time, when my daughter was in second grade, I sewed red patches on a men’s large blue T shirt so my daughter could be Pippi Longstocking for Halloween. Of course, I was laid up with a sprained ankle at the time. Still, it is undoubtedly the pinnacle of my career as Crafty Mom. I was kind of hoping that my daughter would just keep on dressing up as Pippi for Halloween until it stopped being cute, because then, you know, she could just keep wearing that costume I sewed by hand. Sort of. I sewed the patches on by hand. With big raggedy uneven stitches, because isn’t that the way Pippi herself would do it?

What this means is that I will never be able to post photos of Look-What-I-Made-With-Felt-Scraps-And-A-Glue-Gun on That Social Media Site. I will never open an account (or profile? See, I don’t even know) on Pinterest so I may commune with other crafty-minded souls.

All that I love is books, everyone. And playing the piano. And other things that don’t lend themselves to demonstrations of how awesome I am online. Except…

Oh, look! I made this blog!

But it didn’t take a glue gun.

Love you & leave you,

Hobbie DeHoy

Social Media in Conversation

“I loved your facebook post!” “I really liked what you said on facebook last night.”

I don’t get these face-to-face comments a lot, but when I do, they leave me somewhat bemused. The only proper answer, obviously, is “thank you” with a smile. Of course, the reason I’m smiling is because there is a very easy way on That Certain Social Media Site to demonstrate that you like someone’s post. A simple click of the “like” button, and Bob’s your uncle, as they say. However, never in my experience has anyone who told me that she liked my post actually “liked” it actually on facebook. Which is kind of funny to me.

I mean, darn it, people should like what I post on That Certain Social Media Site (and btw, Hobbie is not on that site. I actually facebook under my real name, which shall never, never appear on this blog. Hobbie and I lead separate lives.). I try to avoid all the pitfalls and irritations about which I complain so profusely here on this blog. I try to keep sarcasm to a minimum and I never argue with anyone. I put a lot of effort into being very pleasant, and also clever, on That Certain Social Media Site.

It’s probably why I enjoy the blog experience so much. It’s such a relief to stop being so nice and let my snarky side out for a run. Just like Elsa tossing her gloves to the wind from the snowy mountain top. Let it go!

Now that I’m thinking about it, perhaps I should give Hobbie her own profile on That Certain Social Media Site. That would be so meta, if my pseudonym who is constantly complaining about how other people use social media had her own social media profile!

It would probably be too precious for words.

Love you & leave you,

Hobbie DeHoy