Simmering Rage

Okay! Here I am back after a long long time! Because for a year I was a part-time worker and now I am a full-time worker and boy howdy, has that been an adjustment for this little introvert who doesn’t like to juggle too many balls in the air. Both my children are in high school and I am now in my middle forties instead of my early forties and time is just rushing along.

And I’m back because I’m experiencing simmering rage again and this is the place for that. Whether anybody else wants to read my simmering rage or not.

I am angry because I am a woman living in a patriarchal society and all the ugliness keeps coming up over and over and OVER again. Taking away women’s access to birth control and the way the media treats ambitious women (spoiler: horribly) and famous rich white guys getting away with predatory behavior and I really hate pink and I really hate high heels and I really hate sparkles and glitter and makeup and I am Just So Mad about Everything.

We could have had a competent, knowledgeable woman as President, someone who believes in the role of government and understands how steady progress and compromise work and doesn’t tweet terrifying things that keep me up at night.

But no. We are constantly pushing through a miasma of really toxic sexism and my only comfort is that more women are running for office and I get to keep voting for them. We’ve got this judge’s race in my community, and one of those candidates is a woman, and while I’m not voting for her JUST because she’s a woman she’s also got the endorsement of the major news outlet around here so I’m voting for HER. Oh, that sounds so terrific, so very November 8, 2016. It’s almost a year later and everything kind of sucks but I get to say I’m voting for HER.

And I’ll never run for office myself because I can’t ever remember people’s names and I stammer when I’m nervous and I’m not very likable and being front and center in a political campaign sounds frankly hellish to me.

But I can go around saying, I’m voting for HER. May I be able to say that in every election for the foreseeable future.

Love you & leave you,

Hobbie DeHoy

A Post-Election List

A list (not exhaustive, but a list all the same) of Things That Hillary Clinton Voters are Expected to Accept This Election Cycle:

  1.  Instead of our First Woman President, we’re expected to accept yet another white man.
  2. That white man is basically feminists’ worst nightmare.
  3. We are expected to accept the results of an election in which our candidate won the popular vote by a huge margin, but lost the Electoral College vote. Again. See Election 2000.
  4. We are expected to accept the results of an election which was possibly affected by a pointless communication from the Director of the FBI, who broke tradition by getting involved in electoral politics very close to Election Day. Why does that guy still have a job again?
  5. We are expected to accept the results of an election that our Intelligence agencies believe was affected by hacking from a foreign government, oh yes, that would be Russia. Isn’t this a problem that should stop this whole process in its tracks???

I don’t know, that seems like kind of a lot to me.

Love you & leave you,

Hobbie DeHoy

A New Book for White Women

Hey! There’s a new book out for white women! It’s called Let’s Cozy Up to the Patriarchy! You don’t need any help with that, but why not give it a whirl? Likeable selections include:

  • A list of occasions to drink some wine. Because it’s easier to get a little buzz on than to face uncomfortable truths, amirite?
  • A free coupon for YOUR photo with the President-Elect! His hand will be on your ass at no extra charge, and you’re okay with that. It’s how guys are!
  • Some sample letters to send to the President-elect, so you can send your photo and ask him to rate your appearance from a one to a ten. His reply will include some beauty tips from famous supermodels! Because how can you feel good about yourself if the future leader of the free world thinks you’re only a four?
  • A list of unconvincing things to say to prove you aren’t racist.
  • A list of unconvincing things to say to prove you aren’t sexist. This page is perforated so you can just tear it out and throw it away. Because who cares what those angry feminists think? They’re always getting their panties in a wad about every little thing!

Get your copy today! Free signings on Inauguration Day!

The Mommy Updates

Don’t you sometimes feel a little sorry for small children whose lives are being relentlessly documented on social media? I totally do. The way I see it, the oversharing occurs on two different levels:  one, way too often; and two, way too much private information.

I mean, small children are totes adorbs. No question. I understand the temptation to share. But, you know what? Little Nathan looks pretty much the same as he did yesterday. Or two days ago. Or last week. I have this friend with twin babies, and the babies frequently tend to adopt mirror poses; i.e. they are both sleeping on the same side with their arms spread out in the same way and clutching a stuffed animal in the same kind of grip with the same hand. Absolutely cute, the first five times I saw it. Now, I just can’t make myself join the one hundred and seven other people who have “liked” the post. It’s still cute, but it’s hard to really appreciate them as often as the frequency of posting demands.  My response is more like, “Yep. There go the babies again.” They’ve turned into another spot on the wallpaper, which is too bad because they really are cuties.

Also, and I say this as the doting mother of two, isn’t there anything else these people want to share on social media? Too well I remember the feeling of being sucked down into the vortex of parenting the preschool set. At that time, I really relished the opportunities I had to discuss topics that weren’t about addressing basic needs and civilizing the little darlings in my care. Social patter on That Certain Social Media Site really isn’t that challenging. Can’t some people find something to say instead of something to show?

Well, no. No, they can’t. Because TCSMS has turned into one endless scroll down pic after pic after pic. Show and tell. And evidently little kids are perennially popular exhibits. At least to the people who are showing and telling about them; namely, their parents. For the rest of us, maybe not so much.

For me, definitely not so much. I think I’m making that pretty clear.

On to the second, and to me, more troubling problem: way too much information. Yes, most children are learning the same major life skill between two and three years of age. Do we have to write it down? Do we have to talk about how it’s going? Or, in far too many cases, how it’s NOT going?

Ew. Yuck. Just stop it with these kind of updates on social media, parents. For one thing, this is not about YOU, it is about your CHILD and his or her readiness to acquire a new skill. Also, it’s pretty disgusting for those of us who don’t care. I will never get a medal for this, I know, but I  had nothing to say on this topic even when it was a high subject of interest on a very personal level at my house.  Because I can recognize that certain topics are off limits for polite conversation.  They’re called boundaries, guys. Let’s recognize them. Also also, how do you think your kids will feel when they’re old enough to realize exactly what you’ve been sharing about them on social media? Okay, yeah, maybe they’ll never find out. I imagine that by the time a person is old enough to have a social media presence, he has better things to do than go years back into his mom’s status updates from the year when he was two. But still. It could happen. Or, what is more likely to happen, a person’s sibling could go back and find photos and status updates and use them for merciless internet taunting. Fun times.

So, mommies, it’s time to get a grip. Just because you can share it doesn’t mean that you should.

In fact, if it’s not a proud moment for your child, it shouldn’t be up there. Because any more than that is boring to your friends and unkind to your child.

Think. Think, think, think before you post. I realize that’s a lot to ask in the context of social media.

But I think it’s worth a try.

Love you & leave you,

Hobbie DeHoy

Three Little Bookshops

I’m seeing a lot of bookish types writing and commenting about the whole Amazon Versus Hachette battle, and it made me realize my good fortune. My good fortune is living in a community with not one, not two, but *three* independently-owned bookstores within a couple of  miles of my house. Within walking distance, even, when I’m feeling particularly active.

I, my dears, have options.

Yes, it’s true. I won’t get my book choices in two days flat. It’ll be more like five to eight business days. I will have to actually go out and run an errand to get my books, because they will not be delivered to my door. And I will not get the rock-bottom cheapest prices on the two books I’m hoping to own by the end of this week.

Well, no money can buy the feeling of moral righteousness that I get from buying local from an indie bookshop. I’m well-known at one of them, slightly lesser known at the other two. And I’ll never get any of that warm fuzzy stuff from pointing and clicking online.

I don’t buy books often, anyway. The public library is my very good friend. I won’t buy a book until I’ve read it more than twice, which means I know I will read it at least twice more over my lifetime. Notable exceptions are the Harry Potter books, the Series of Unfortunate Events books, and any of the Thief books by Megan Whalen Turner.

I still have plenty of books at home. People will keep buying them for me.

And I read a lot, which means there are rather a lot of books that I have read more than twice. I’m in the double digits for any of Jane Austen’s six novels.

How weird does this make me? (Oh, look. My blog post is all about me. Again.) I don’t know anyone, except my fellow Janeites, who read books over and over again. Does anyone else do this?

If you read the same books over and over, please comment and tell me what they are. If you want to wax lyrical about how wonderful your favorite books can be upon the seventh reading, please feel free to do so.

Thank you so much.

Love  you & leave you,

Hobbie DeHoy